hair envy

I just wanted to start this post by saying that,  I am at point in my life were I have fully accepted my god given hair. It wasn’t always like that.As humans we all want we don’t have its in our nature. When you have straight hair you want curl hair, When you have curl hair you want straight hair. I , like most black girls I grow up hating my black hair. I prayed one day I would wake up and my hair would be “nice”. By nice I mean that mixed girl hair or North East African women hair. I didn’t even want straight blonde hair all I wanted was hair I could wake up wash and go.

Myself hair hatred didn’t start until I came to Canada. When I was in Zimbabwe I never had to worry about it because everyone had the same hair as me. So it wasn’t a big deal. Then I came to North America , Living a society that constantly telling us black woman that “our hair is the ugliest,no one will love you or respect you if your hair is not on point and your edges are not laid. That our natural hair is not professional enough and natural hair is not for everyone”. Why can’t black woman just have messy hair and still be called cute and pretty like non BW when they have a messy bun?.  Why?, Why Not ?

The being of my hair envy was in junior high in my class there was a girl from Somalia she had the hair I prayed for . She had puff hair that you can straightened and it would be straight as a bone. Everyone was so fascinated they would tell her that hair was gorgeous and I would be over there like what about ME LOVE MY HAIR TOO. The only time someone said something about my hair was when I had braids. Another hair envy story before i new about shrinkage that 4c hair actually grows but it has a lot of shrinkage. When I was in high school there was a mixed girl who cut her hair around the same time I cut mine. 6 months later her hair was in ponytail and mine was still the same length, I was crushed.

I would lie if i said i still don’t have hair envy I still want hair i can just wash and go but thats not happening in this life time so it is what it is. But I have got rid of myself hair hatred. I have learned to live with it thanks to all the naturals who said fuck it ,this is what i was born with. This is who I am . Also shout out to whoever thought of twist out, braids out , bantu knots out  and all those hair styles that show off your length. Without you guys we would never know how we are doing on our hair journey.



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